It's bad enough to skate on ice. I know firsthand how easy it is for one's feet to fly out from beneath one's butt, thus allowing one's butt to make violent contact with the ice, which, by the way, is harder than rock. But to drive an 18-wheeler across a few scant inches of ice just so we can have oil and diamonds? No. Just no. Maybe, like Mama putting the good cookies on top of the refrigerator, God put that stuff up there so we couldn't get to it.
I could not be the idiotic, ugly, brainless, stinking, imbecilic, foul, heartless, obtuse, short-sighted, moronic bastard who decides to fire a smart, loyal, hard-working company employee of 27 years. I don't have it in me. I'm not a scum-sucking moron.
I'm happy to see there are many others who do not want to be eaten by sharks. They have created a fan group for Not Being Eaten By Sharks on Facebook. Nice.
I wouldn't drink instant coffee for a million dollars.
I order my beans custom roasted from CoffeeAM.com -- I get five pounds of Kenya AA and one pound of Sumatra Mandheling once every six weeks.
I grind up the beans just before I brew the coffee. (My husband's coffee is sometimes ground up five hours before it's brewed, but that can't be helped. The man works swing shift. I do the best I can, y'know?)
I'll buy coffee beverages from Starbucks, but I won't buy my beans from them. That's how picky I am.
So instant coffee? No. Never. It's barbaric. You can use it in recipes for mocha frosting for cakes, but don't expect it to be suitable for drinking.
I have pierced ears. In fact, I have double-pierced ears. But this ear stretching thing is just weird and icky. Ew. And it seems like a great way to rip your ear off if something should get caught in it. Again, ew.
Someone I know accused me of being flippant on this blog. He said that if someone offered me One Million Dollars (US) to wear some Jane Seymour jewelry, I would do it.
I have therefore put some time and thought into this proposition.
And I reiterate my original stance. I would not wear Jane Seymour jewelry for a million dollars. I would not do it in a box. I would not do it with a fox. I do not like ugly jewelry, Sam I Am. I do not like it; I said it again.
When you grow up in the South and you tell people "I don't like biscuits," they'll invariably come back with "Well, that's because you've never had [insert favorite biscuit producer here]'s biscuits!" I've had people's mothers' biscuits. I've had Hardee's biscuits. I've had fancy cheese biscuits from fancy, cheesy restaurants. I've kept trying biscuits, really I have.
Oh, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley. When I went to find a picture of you for this post I happened to stop by your web site. If I hadn't already known you were a nut job, the Swirl to God earrings and Spirit Steering pendant would have convinced me.
